Weight of It All
by MizukoMidori
Summary: Akito reflects on what's happened since Tohru's come into the Sohma life and makes a decision. One that no one's happy about. Chapter 2 up!
1. Akito Insight

Weight of it All.

By Rachel  
  
"Once upon a time, there was a fair and delightful kingdom called **something that Yume regrets she cannot come up with right this moment, due to pain, distraction, hunger, sleep deprivation, and overall lack of imagination and motivation. There is a certain lack of muse-work in the air today, and, due to unfortunate circumstances which may or may not occur, tomorrow may be cancelled. It is my speculation that in failing to turn in this assignment, I may utilize the imaginations of my muses, and fail to show up to school on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.**"  
  
A/N: I included this note in here because the entire thing is sarcastic. And sarcasm is part of this prologue. Some of the things Akito is thinking is sarcasm. And I know sarcasm can sometimes be hard to tell in reading words, unless it specified, so I'm specifying now that some of this is sarcastic. Hopefully you all know what is and what isn't. If not email me, and I can clarify.   
  
Prologue.  
  
She cared? Did she really care about me? I don't see how she could. I'm cruel, I know it. I know how the rest of them think of me. They don't listen to me out of respect, or really because I'm the head of the family. Heh, not at all. They listen to me because they fear me. Because I can hurt all of them. And why shouldn't I? They were born under my jurisdiction. I am the head of this family.  
  
The rest of them may be cursed, but none of them understand it as I do. None of them bares the weight I that I bear everyday, every second. They don't feel the torture put on me physically and mentally by this curse. I alone take it on completely.  
  
None of them seem to care. Seem to understand. Every one of them had listened to me. I taught them. I showed them how it had to be. And then she came along and ruined everything. She undid all that I worked to do. All that I had done for them. To make things easier on them! And all she has to do is walk in, say a few words, and it doesn't matter what I say. How can I be right when she is around?  
  
She's good. She's pure. She always has the best advice. Let's never listen to Akito anymore. She has taught us that the way he does things is wrong. It's wrong to shelter your family from danger. It's wrong to want to protect them from the world. It's so fucking wrong! Well why?  
  
She steps in and suddenly my law goes away. Oh erase her memories. What? Erase her memories, but she's so good to us. She'd never tell. She the greatest. We love her. We don't want to erase her memories. It's no big deal Akito, she wouldn't tell a soul. Well I don't care about that. It seems that she wants to take over my job. Ha! She wouldn't last five minutes under this curse.  
  
And then she tries to come in and tell me she cares. That when I die she'll miss me. So will everyone else. I doubt that. I don't believe that at all. But... she seemed so sincere. She seems to say everything one wants to hear at the moment. Unlike most people, though, she actually seems to mean what she says. She could have yelled at me, told e she hated me and the things that I've done. I had expected he to lash out back at me. Instead, she pitied me. One of the things I hate most. Yet, she somehow made it Different.  
  
She has no idea.  
  
"Tohru... Are you prepared?"  
  
Hatori watched the little bird flutter from Akito's quarters. A great sense of dread rose up within him.

A/N: So how was that? I really want feedback on this, the prologue, 'cause this is in first person, and I want to know if I did a good job on portraying Akito's character. I don't happen to like him very much, but this idea had popped into my head, and so I started it. If I get three reviews at least for this. Then I'll be more than willing to post the next chapter. Thank you! .6


	2. Can't be Normal

The Weight of it All By Rachel.  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far. I have three so I can post the first chapter. Yey. The first chapter, however, does not have too much plot. It's just an introduction to everything really. Please review and let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is most welcome.  
  
Chapter 1-- Can't Be Normal  
  
"Good morning Miss Honda," Yuki said as he came down the stairs.  
  
"Oh. Good morning Yuki," she gave him her usual bright cheery smile. She then looked around, seemingly confused, "Um where's Kyou? It's not like him to be up after you."  
  
"Knowing that cat he's probably asleep on the roof. Well, if he wants to miss out on your wonderful breakfast, that's his problem." Yuki's eyes flashed slightly as he said this.  
  
Ever since the whole ordeal with Kyou's true form Tohru's been keeping special watch over him. Making sure he's staying healthy, and isn't going to break down at any point. Yuki had to admit he was a bit jealous. So the cat had an ugly side, she didn't need to baby him because of it.  
  
"I think I'll go take it to him," Tohru said, grabbing Kyou's plate and getting up. Yuki was going to protest but stopped when Shigure gave him a look.  
  
"You need to let her do things on her own when it comes to Kyou," the dog told him once he was sure she was out of earshot.  
  
"I'm not trying to restrict her. I just don't think she should have to go out of her way for him."  
  
"Hm? Why do you say that?" he had asked it in his 'I-already-know-the- answer-but-I-want-to-see-if-you-do-and-can-admit-it' voice.  
  
"He's the one always causing problems. That cat has caused Miss Honda enough trouble aready. She shouldn't be going out of her way for him." After that he stopped talking and ate.  
  
Kyou opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. From the slight breeze and the intense aching in his back he came to the conclusion that he had fallen asleep on the roof again. He wasn't sure why it was necessarily that he liked the roof. It always made him feel better or it calmed him down. It also helped him think, which he'd been doing too much of for the last week.  
  
He opened his eyes again prepared this time for the brightness of the wicked sunlight. Blinking several times, he yawned and stretched his muscles, which were stiff. '_I should start training again. I'm never going to beat Yuki at this rate_' He sat up and stared out at the forest.  
  
It was still over his head that everyone could still accept him after having seen his real form. Especially Tohru. The fact that she could ask him to come back while he was in that hideous body was beyond him. How could Shigure let him stay this house?  
  
"Kyou?" Her uncertain voice broke his concentration.  
  
It always seemed to at this time in the morning. '_Never lets me answer my own inner questions_' part of him always thought. And this resulted in him giving her an annoyed look.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," Tohru apologized needlessly.  
  
"Don't worry about it. What do you want anyway?"  
  
She climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and sat beside him. She put the plate down and gave him a bright smile. He glanced down at the plate of food. She had brought him breakfast again. It seemed she was trying too hard to go back to how things were. It couldn't be that way though. She didn't understand.  
  
"You don't understand," he'd voiced aloud.  
  
She'd looked up at him surprised. She'd been talking about the food she 'd made and how it was probably cold, and how he didn't have to eat it if he didn't want to when he'd interrupted her with that. She had an idea of what he was talking about, but she didn't really want to have anything to do with the subject. It was something she wanted to forget.  
  
"Understand what? If you don't want to eat it, Kyou, you don't have to." She hoped he would get that she wanted him to drop the subject.  
  
"Stop it," he stood up and glared down at her. She shied back, "Stop playing around! I know you want things to be normal again but they can't! Things aren't the same..." he lost heart as he always did when yelling at her. She just looked too pitiful.  
  
"I know that." She said quietly. Almost too quietly. All trace of her cheery nature seemed to have fled the coop. "I know. But I want it to be. Why can't things be the way they were? As long as you keep that bracelet on, right?"  
  
"It's not that simple Tohru. You've seen it. You've seen _me_. Maybe you can learn to accept it, but I can't. I..." he stopped. He had never talked to anyone about it. Not even Kazuma.  
  
"Kyou?" she looked up at him. Her blue orbs were filled with tears she refused to release. "I don't want that thing. I want you. Even if it's inside of you, as long as your you I'm fine with it."  
  
He stared at her, disbelief dripping from his features. This couldn't be. How could it? She was exactly like his mom. Only instead of hiding behind false pretenses, Tohru stated what he always knew his mom felt. The instantaneous realization that she wasn't who he thought she was slapped him, unmerciful, in the face.  
  
"You don't understand," he repeated. It _is_ me. That's what is meant by true- form. It's who I truly am. It's not just some part of me I can hold at bat! Do you understand!?" he took a step toward her and she flinched. He'd softened slightly, "You're scared of me..."  
  
"Kyou..." she was going to tell him otherwise, but he cut her off again.  
  
"See! Now you are scared of me! Things can't be normal again! Do you understand that!?" he reached out and roughly grabbed her chin, turning her to face him, "Do you!?"  
  
"Cat."  
  
It was a hiss that came from the direction of the ladder. Yuki stood there giving Kyou a cold, deadly gaze. The had finally gone too far and now the rat was going to do something about it. He stepped elegantly on the roof with all the grace his rival should have possessed.  
  
"Yuki..." Tohru whispered. It was meant to be in protest, but it seemed more like despair.  
  
Kyou took a step away from her. He realized that he crossed the line. There was no taking it back though. And now a fight would break out. Well Kyou had been itching for a fight all week.  
  
"Hellooo! Is everyone up here?"  
  
The tension in the air shattered like glass hitting tile at the sound of Shigure's voice.  
  
"Did I miss something?"  
  
End Chapter One  
  



	3. Delightful Surprises

Weight of it All By Rachel  
  
Chapter 2—Pleasant surprises

"You are sure?" Hatori asked the man in front of him.  
  
Akito stood up, the shoulder of his robe falling around him. A lazy smirk greeted the doctor from the one eye he could see out of. Of course he was sure. Akito never did anything he wasn't sure of.  
  
"I am. And Hatori?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I don't want them to know I'm coming. I want it to be... a delightful surprise." He let out a short laugh that echoed in the empty room.  
  
Shigure let out a sneeze. Yuki gave him a surprised look for it had broken the unnerving silence in the room.  
  
"Eh. Bless you."  
  
"Oh. Thanks. Hmm... someone must be talking about me."  
  
"Huh?" Yuki gave his older cousin an estranged look.  
  
"You know, people are known to sneeze when someone else is taking about them."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Shigure gave Yuki a concerned look as the younger boy stared at the closed door probably seeing the woods beyond it. He had been distant ever since everything happened with Kyou. He was slowly reverting to the icy temperate he'd been before Tohru had shown up. And after the dramatic events this morning his brain seemed slow on the up take.  
  
After Shigure interrupted whatever had been going on, on the roof, Kyou had run off. The dog hadn't been too worried. This was typical behavior of the orange haired youth. Tohru's reaction, however, was not typical. Instead of going after him or over worrying herself about it, she had simply vanished to her room.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder when Kyou will be back." The dog wondered aloud.  
  
"You mean he's not back yet?"  
  
The two Souma's looked up at Tohru who had just entered the room. It was obvious she had been crying, but that was no longer the case.  
  
"No Tohru, I'm afraid he's not. You know him. He'll probably be back by dinner, and even then he'll be sulking on the roof."  
  
"If he's not careful he'll wear a hole through it." Yuki muttered.  
  
"Well, I guess its lunchtime, a little past in fact. I'll go make us some food. Maybe Kyou will get hungry and come back to eat."  
  
"Just like a real cat," the read once again muttered, a cold smile crossing his pretty face.  
  
Tohru had missed the comment, being as she had already started lunch in the kitchen. She didn't understand why Kyou had lost his temper with her. Was it so wrong for her to want things to go back to the way they had been? She knew some things were different. She knew that relationship perceptions had changed too. But in time things should have been able to pick up a normal beat again. Tohru also couldn't shake the feeling that she had said something wrong.  
  
Hatori pulled into the closest parking spot to Shigure's house. They had a bit of a walk ahead of them. He was glad that he had checked Akito before hand and made sure he was well enough. If the head of the family had the slightest signs of a fever Hatori would have forbid him to go. Or tried to at least. If Akito had really wanted to go then Hatori would have had to let him go.  
  
Akito stepped from the car and breathed in the fresh air. He liked it out here more than the Souma house. The Souma house stank of the same people day after day. It reeked of sickness and the curse hovered about the air stifling and trapping. The air out here was different. It was fresh, clean, new; it held a sense that all was right. He liked this air.  
  
"Shall we, Hari?" he offered, voice full of childish amusement. He held out his hand to the older man and Hatori, taking it, led him carefully through the forest.  
  
When they came upon the house Akito ran forward. It wasn't exactly that he was excited to see them; it was more that he wanted to see their reactions. Especially hers. That was the reason he was there after all. He threw open the door, breathing heavily. He had already over-exerted himself.  
  
Surprised eyes met him, blinking. It looked like they were in the middle of lunch. 'Good. I'm feeling a bit famished.'  
  
"A—Akito. What a... surprise." Shigure said recovering quickly. He gave him a cheerful smile.  
  
"It is, isn't it? I was a bit surprised myself when he suddenly decided to come here." Spoke Hatori, appearing behind his main patient.  
  
"It seems I'm in time for lunch" Akito hinted, smiling at Tohru.  
  
She seemed to snap out whatever trance she had been in. "O—Oh! Please join us. I-I'll go make some more." She scrambled up to hurry back into the kitchen, but Shigure stopped her.  
  
"Here have Kyou's. He's not here, so he won't be eating it. Hari, you can have what's left of mine." 'I don't think I'm hungry anymore.'  
  
"I'll pass." Hatori replied.  
  
Akito frowned slightly. He didn't appreciate being stuck with leftovers. Especially the cat's leftovers. It was an insult to all he was. He took it anyway though. It would help him get his strength back. He hadn't realized how weak he was getting. Taking a bite he realized it was better than he expected. He thought it would be burnt and brittle and he was pleasantly surprised. He even forgot the insult in the food.  
  
"This is surprisingly delicious Miss Honda. You are a wonderful cook. You'd make a good housewife." Tohru blushed at his comment and stammered out a 'thank you.'  
  
"Yes, Tohru is a magnificent chef. I'd suggest she open her own restaurant if that didn't mean she'd have to stop cooking for us." The cheer in Shigure's voice was forced and that happy-go-lucky smile never faltered. Truth was, he was worried. It wasn't often Akito made surprise visits. If fact, it was more like never. And the fact that he had Hatori with him did nothing to calm his nerves. Perhaps Tohru had pushed Akito too far. Had Akito punished Hatori for not erasing her memories sooner? Shigure somehow doubted that though.  
  
Hatori could practically read his friend's mind. After all the writer wasn't very hard to predict. He was worried that they were there to do something to the girl. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't, Hatori wasn't sure.  
  
Yuki kept taking calming breaths. Being around Akito still scared him. It always would. It's why he originally moved in with his cousin. Akito hadn't taken very lightly to the fact that Yuki hated being a Souma. He didn't like the fact that Yuki wanted out of the family. So Yuki was beat heavily for this. Ever since, he had been frightened badly. He would freeze in place anytime Akito came near. He was trying to very hard to calm down at that moment. It had recently been made more difficult after he had tried to hurt Tohru.  
  
"I'm glad you, uh, like it," Tohru responded to the earlier compliment. "So Akito, sir," she felt compelled to show him great respect, "What brings you all the way out here? It wouldn't have been any trouble for us to come visit you at the house."  
  
Truthfully Tohru was worried about why they were there as well. The last time she'd seen Akito he had hurt her. She probably would have been worse off if it hadn't been for Yuki and Shigure. 'No. It was what you told him. You have that impact on people.' It was obvious though that he hadn't been very pleased with her after last time. Now he was here enjoying lunch with them, engaged in a forced cheery conversation with Shigure. Something was definitely amiss, even she could understand that.  
  
She looked over at Yuki to gave his reaction and froze. He was quivering slightly and he seemed scared. Tohru had completely forgotten that he didn't like Akito. How could something like that have slipped her mind?  
  
"Yuki..."  
  
At the sound of his name everyone else glanced over there. Akito smiled slightly. "Yuki, you've been quiet. Aren't you happy to see me?"  
  
He didn't know how to answer that question. No, he wasn't particularly happy that he was there. Yet some part of him didn't mind it either. It was the curse. It was because of who Akito was. In a way, he was God.

Taking another calming breath, he plastered on his cold Prince Souma smile and repsonded rather smoothly for how he was feeling. "Of course Akito." Inside though his head was reeling.

"Good," Akito replied. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and gave everyone an uncharacteristic grin, "I hpe you're all happy to see me. I want you all to move into the main house. Even you, Tohru."

End chapter2

Yey! Plot. And a cliff hanger. Imagine that. Anyway, I'd love to get reviews from my lovely readers. It's nice to know what you all think. And how you think I could be better, or whether or not you think I'm a goddess. -Giggle-

Thanks to:

animeprincess1452-- Thanks you for the reviews so far. I'm glad you like my stuff. I have a new fan! -Victory sign. Snuggle-

Chiharu Ylliana: Sorry to blackmail ya. I'm not doing it anymore. Although feel free to review anyway. And I figured everyone would understand the sarcasm thing, but I also know there are some who wouldn't and I didn't want to be asked stupid qustions. .6

And to my other two reviewers. I love you too. Thank ya all very much!!!


	4. Hidden Intentions

Weight of it All By Rachel  
  
Chapter 3- Hidden Intention  
  
"I want you all to move back into the main house. Even Tohru."  
  
Silence filled the room after the words left Akito's lips. The question of whether he was serious or not flitted through each mind, but was quickly shot down. The head of the family didn't have much of a sense of humor.  
  
"Why so suddenly?" Hatori asked. He too was surprised by this. Akito hadn't seemed to express any desire to have them move back. Especially bringing Tohru along. The thing was Akito had favorites. Certain members of the zodiac he liked more than the others. Yuki and Shigure were two of those people. And he liked to keep these people to himself, hated sharing them with anyone. Hatori had figured out that that was why Akito didn't want him to get married to Kana. Hatori was one of his favorites. So why would he have an outsider girl come live with two of his favorites? It was obvious she had the power to take each member of his family away from him.  
  
"Well, I think I'll have to pass. I'm perfectly fine living here, and it's better for my writing. I have all the privacy I need. And that way my publisher can bother me all she needs to."  
  
Shigure didn't need to say all that. Akito should have known he wouldn't come back. It went beyond his career as a novelist. They'd had this discussion before. The dog was now getting the idea that there was more to this than just asking them to move in. He should have known that from the start.  
  
"I should have known that you'd decline. What about Yuki and Tohru?"  
  
To Tohru Akito seemed like a completely different person than the one that was in that room. He seemed a little bit more like the person she met at her school, better even. He was nice, conversational, and polite. It was like he really enjoyed being here.  
  
He watched the other two his smile still in place. It wasn't an act either. Akito was rally enjoying himself. He was having fun. He thought, 'This must be what it is like to be high.' His good mood wouldn't last long if he continued to get refused. It he really wanted Yuki he could have him. It wasn't Yuki he was after though.  
  
"What the hell is going on here!? Why the hell is here!?" Everyone looked to the doorway where Kyou was standing. Apparently he had just returned.  
  
"You're so rude," Akito said, with a toss of his head, "Don't you have any manners?"  
  
"Not for you, Dumbass."  
  
"Kyou!"  
  
Tohru had yelled his name to try and counter his next course of action. And of course that action was to attack Akito. No one dared attack Akito, and there was most certainly a reason for that. Before Kyou could get close enough to touch him Shigure and Hatori held him back. None to gently either.  
  
"You don't attack Akito," Yuki said very plainly. He may not like him very much, but that was one thing he knew. You did not attack Akito. And he couldn't believe Kyou was stupid enough to do so. Even if he was the cat, he was still under the curse, and he still had to listen to the head of the family.  
  
Surprisingly Akito laughed, "Thank you cat. You've provided me with entertainment. Perhaps I'll let you move back in and you can be my jester." Kyou struggled against his restrainer, but to no avail.  
  
"Wait. You weren't planning on inviting Kyou as well?" Tohru could not imagine living without the fiery cat.  
  
Shigure felt pity for Tohru. She still didn't understand the curse. She didn't understand the fact that, even though she could accept Kyou as more than the cat, the rest of the family could not. With the exception of Kagura, of course. What she also didn't understand is that Kyou would move back to the estate. Not until, though, he reached eighteen. It hadn't occurred to any of them how much of the curse Tohru still didn't understand. It had occurred to Akito, however.  
  
"Kyou wishes his freedom. He even seeks to remain free after his eighteenth birthday. Even if I wanted him back, I doubt he'd go" Akito replied. He knew this would come as a shock to the girl. She was stupid when it came to his family. She thought she knew them , but she could never understand. He'd do his best to try and make her realize it though.. Most unfortunately for her, however, understanding meant suffering.  
  
End chapter 3  
  
A/N: Most probably noticed this chapter was a bit shorter than the others not including the first. That's because, I've hit major writers block! –Cries- it's horrible. This did seem like a good place to end the chapter too. So it may be awhile until I get the next chapter out. You guys know what, reviews help inspire me. The more positive reviews I get, the more I'm willing to put out the next chapter, and the faster. So review it please!!! 


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